lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)
I'm a bit exhausted. Liar.
To tell  the truth, I'm really dead tired. Maybe I have no stamina or it's too dark and misty outside or maybe I just hate organic synthesis and lab-practice.
Whatever.
The first master semester is the worst - it's getting better afterwards. And don't tell me otherwise, 'cause it's the only hope I have.

Shameless pimping from our university: chemistry promotion video (I personally know 90 % of those people and all of the apparatus, so for me it seems a bit awkward with that sterile, unpersonalized off-screen voice.)
It's not science, it's art (almost German, but hey, there are pretty pictures of colorful test tubes?..)

I do find it a bit unfair, all you get to see in the vid is about organic chemistry. Well, at least 95 % of the show are. The lasers and the secretary girls aren't. Does they only mentioned all the three departments (bio+organics & anorganics & physics chemistry) to better focus on one?
And why is physical chemistry so shy? Without theoretical & physical departments there won't be any test tubes experiments and nothing to show off. Sure, page-long formulas or shiny vacuum-instruments aren't so sparky as simple test tubes but... it's chemistry too. Lasers and bombs, biophysics and thermodynamics, nano-particles and tunnel-electrons, Schrödinger & Heisenberg, eigenfunctions and quantum chemistry.

Why don't we have as mighty lobby as the organics with their pharmacy industry?





P.S.: Don't get me wrong, I still like the vid and my faculty. Despite the nagging. It's just ... I wished for more physical chemistry stuff in it, because I'm starting to feel like I belong to a repressed minority group o.Ô"
It's honorable but hard.
lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)
Best compliment ever: "Would you like to do your master thesis in our research group as well?"

<3<3<3

But since it'll take me a few more years, in the meanwhile Prof B. offered me a job as his research assistant in the group! I'm not sure if I can manage both scientific research and studying in the next winter semester (lots of labs x_x"), but I'd love to return in the group for the next summer semester ^.^

(I can't tell you how happy I am right now - I feel honoured for my brains and and my ideas.. and nothing makes me so happy as appreciation, I'm a vain girl <3 Then again, this kind of satisfaction I also feel after writing a worthy story or making a perfect Birthday-present - it's this feeling of "I-have-created-something-new". It's an addiction, I'm afraid, like adrenalin or alcohol, when it's not there, the life seems to be all dull and boring... )

But, well, I shouldn't get too exited. First things first and I still have my bachelor thesis and a few more exams to worry about...
And, no, I won't tell you what grade I got for that damn oral examination. Was I really that bad?... Dear Me, you should really, like really start learning instead of fangirling your bachelor themes, drinking coffee with the doctorands and go shooting [but it's so relaxing!].
(I hope my Prof will never ever ask me for my official papers for I'd die of shame if he ever sees just how bad some of my grades are. Why the hell was I babbling that nonsense in the oral exam? Damn²)

As for the first attempts at image processing, I wrote a small algorithm for this transformation (not that much of a challenge and I'm still fighting against those holes in their scopes ò.ó" )
[click-able photos]

      

... and then composed  those pictures to a video, where you can only see the strokes of their outlines and how they scrabble about, merging, falling apart, pushing dead bodies around - it's kind of fascinating. The creepy kind *_*;

I'd love to show off a bit more, but I'm not sure which results I can already show in public ._." (maybe there'll be a paper afterwards ^^)
I'll talk more detailed, when I'm done? But you can read the basics about the Dicties here. And right now the experimental part is almost over (or so I hope) and I have started analysing the data. So from now on it's just maths. (for example - I never knew that a blur operation is just a matrix applied to a 2D pixel. o_o")

And something completely different before I'm falling asleep at the desk. A quote from a magazine my college lends me:
[sorry, it's German ^^"]

Titanik, S. 40

"Schule des Lebens

Gegen Ende jeder Beziehung werde ich vorwurfsvoll gefragt, warum mir denn verflixt noch mal das Zerstören so einen kindischen Spaß mache, warum sich alles immer bitteschön nur um mich zu drehen habe und warum ich so ein beschissener Egoist sei, dem die Gefühle anderer schnurzegal sind. Schließlich sei ich als Akademiker ja nicht gerade zu blöde, die Regeln des Zusammenlebens zu verstehen, und außerdem alt und erfahren genug, begangene Fehler nicht zwangshaft wiederholen zu müssen. Die Antwort lautetet: Ich trenne eben gerne Erlerntes von Privatem."
(c) Thomas Tonn

_______________________


No end to my uni babbling in sight. Sorry? (In August/September it'll be over~)

But someday I'd like to fan-girl about Firefly, does anyone from my f-list watched it? >D


(P.S.: And I need to write that Sherlock BBC / Weiß Kreuz Crossover to get it our of my system...
Time, please!)

_______________________

silly Personal massage to somewhere out there: "Whatever it was, that made your sad, my dear friend, don't you ever give up!"

(Arthur is not plugging drugs here. Or at least I hope, he's not... <3)
lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)
"The thing Jayne loves about zombies is that they're easy [...]
Sure, it'd get boring if they hung around too long – the things are so slow they're like a target for bitty babies holding their very first guns – but sometimes, a man just likes kick back, relax, and shoot holes in a few heads.
"

Can you imagine a better working day then hearing this fabulous audio!fic about Firefly (space cowboys!) and Zombies and malicious politics ... and working on your bachelor thesis in an empty lab, feeling like a king of your own slightly insane empire?~
Half of my research group is on holiday, so the lab's mine to rule! *muhrhr*

If only the computer wasn't telling me in the middle of an experiment that he can't find the microscope anymore. My first thought was, that a cable was detached, so I went down on my knees searching the cable-salad for some loose connections. Half an hour and a shiny tidy floor later I was at the end of my nerves and just shut the whole damn thing down. And then... a miracle! All of sudden the program seems to recognize the microscope again... I hate that thing and it's lunatic sense of humour.
So, if only the whole adjustment wouldn't take so long - the last two weeks I was getting home about 8 p.m. and so damn hungry and tired as if I was pushing heavy rocks up some steeply mountain, the whole work could be quite ... relaxing >D
(Yeah, good bye Taekwondo! My teacher will kill me the next time he'll see me. If he ever see me again.. lucky me, the last weeks had quite a few public holidays in Germany and on those days I only stepped by in the labs for a few hours, curious about the results of the last night...)

But, well, instead of ranting, I'd rather show off a bit - I got an A+ (1,0) for my presentation! ^__^ (shiny!)

Well, I was good, I just never expected being that good. But if they insists, I sure won't complain. In fact, I was feeling rather disappointed after I finished, I had so much more to tell the auditorium, but the questions were all dull (why the hell they asked me about the construction of some boring neutron reactor if they could have seen the very long derivation of the Fourier transformation instead?)

And on Wednesday I had an oral examination in the subject I always hated the most, so I probably should have been learning the last weekend real hard.
Expect that I was visiting that Doctor!girl I met at the shooting club... It was a warm and pleasantly odd evening on her balcony with some strange medicine students [those people are really, really creepy, but funny to chat with >3) and a guy who danced tango like a professional seducer. Just perfect. Finally I found someone who's taller than me! I only hope the next time won't be in a dark hallway but on the dance floor.
(Also, he's an American, reminds me a bit of Crawford >3 are people from oversea really that tall or is it just it just me, who's so lucky?)

... and I still got over with that oral examination. I'm not sure, which grade I'll get, but I had definitely not failed - otherwise the Prof would have told me so; he's someone who really enjoys telling students they failed the topic and have to come in a few weeks to see him again.

Strangely, I don't fell overworked lately. Not too much at least.
Sure, I'm spending all my free time working on that programming stuff, or lingering in the lab, but it's still interesting and I'm feeling so alive.

Also, have found myself great colleagues. And some friends too. And that tall medicine student to dance with <3
(Damn, he was just gorgeous!)

Especially unusual is having people around, who share more than two interests of yours.
You know that one cute girl from the university I was talking about lately?
Not only I can invite her over in my office and we'll chat about Weiß Kreuz over coffee (we're both schwarz fans <3), and science, and Profs. And... the world domination? But we can also go hiking in a beautiful forest nearby or having our Sunday film-nights with lots of Sci-Fi & Sherlock and laughing, and... I never had a friend to share all the interests at once; always had to split them to three or four people to bear, so I'm a bit suspicious - the girl is way too matching me to be real. (Well, not too perfect after all - we have totally different eating habits. How on earth doesn't she like spinach and paprika and aubergine? o.o) But It's a great feeling finding a friend like this.
... Oh, and the guys at the labs are quite interesting as colleagues too - and yes, I do find that quite abnormal unusual.
(btw, except from one exchange-student from China - I'm the only girl there. Now, that's fine with me <3)

Back to my actual thesis (I know, my f-list is probably already sick and tired of hearing about amoebas and so... but I'm afraid it won't change till I'm done with this subject ^^" Can you bear with it till August?)

Wanna see some creepy, bacteria contaminated data? <3



And my cool microscope with it's golden electrode? ^.^
(the poor cam quality doesn't do him justice, I'm afraid)



a few more shiny close up's )

Just one more thing...
On Wednesday-evening I had a quite revealing conversation with some of the technical assistants from the labs. She asked me if could turned off one of the apparatus downstairs for it's her finishing time and she don't want to wait a few more hours for the machine to cool down.

me: Sure, no problem! I'll stay here till late anyway~ *sigh*
TA: As usual, um? You sure want to make the best of you. Me on the other hand... Well, I already have my house, kids and a dog, but when you want a career, you sure have to stay till late and work hard. I'd rather have my family.

Some of those old women who likes to patronized you. Fine and all. But I just can't agree with her.

Sure, I want success, and, yeah, I deserve acknowledgement (who don't?) and I sure as hell want to make a Doctor Degree afterwards, but someday I want my house as well. And a child and a partner whom I can trust (expert for the dog. I'm a cat type <3) and free time to travel around the world and going out with friends and ... is it the bitter really, that you can't have everything you want, or is it just her way to excuse herself?

Then on the other hand, I was sure willing to turn the apparatus off since I spend the last few weeks almost living there.
So may be she has a point after all.

But.
We have those two Profs in our working group. A. & B. (it's their real names shortcuts <3)
And did I ever mention how really handsome my Prof. A. is? And how absolutely sweet his wife is? She taught us Biomolecular Chemistry in the fifth semester...And how cute the two little boys of the Prof. B are?

So, yeah, they don't look like they are suffering from loneliness. I guess, I'll manage it too. Somehow.



And if not... well, my amobeas still love me <3
('cause I have the glucose which makes them happy and the caffeine which calm them down~ xD)

lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)
stage fright
-> NOUN: Acute nervousness associated with performing or speaking before an audience.


Never thought it would affect me.
I mean, all I have to do is to stand up and explain (loud and clear) a highly complex theme in front of round hundred students and a dozen of  Professors...

And as if it's not enough, my own Prof asked me, if I can play the chairman for the first session. ("Vorsitzender" sounds even more ridiculous.)
What on earth made him think, I'm the right person for that job? Standing there, smiling, call the lecturer on the speakers desk and cut them off, when they talked over their limits. I'll need a megaphone to make myself noticeable. (can you just push somebody down if they talked too long? And how am I suppose to moderate an obligatory after-presentation discussion, if I hate public debates?)

Oh, yes, the reason why it have to be me, is that the only another person in the run had a broken nose and will be operated tomorrow noon.
(can somebody punch me please? I'll try not to fight back. Not too hard at least.)

Also, shall I wear a tie?
Or a suit?
Or just drink a big glass of valerian before it starts?

(whenever I'm nervous or dead-tiered or just feeling uncomfortable around a person - my accent gets really bad. Otherwise it's almost not present but in those cases it sounds just... gross. Strangely, it never happens when I'm drunk - I guess, it's just a cliché after all.)

Also, it's impossible to explain the basics of "X-Ray and Neutron Scattering Analysis Methods" in just a half of an hour. The theme is huge and amazing and combines quantum mechanics as well as theoretical physics - after being engaged in the theme for weeks, I can't help but love it. And now I'll have to simplify it all in some dumb overview presentation. Damn.
(It's just awesome!)

So, the week-end of doom starts tomorrow and will go till Monday, the 31th May.
My turn will be on Sunday, at 11:30 a.m.
Wish me luck <3

By the way, it also means, I have to spend the next weekend in the labs in order to catch up with my thesis plans.
It's not like I'm a workaholic or something but.
Research is not a standardized nine-to-five job: I can take myself a day free, if my amobeas suddenly die from... actually, I still don't know why it happened that day. But on the other hand... Well, for example, yesterday:

(In the following the pretty Chef-girl who was so kind to show around the lab denotes as E.)

E.: - You measurement's time starts about 6 p.m. today, okay? Now that you can work alone, the experiment should take you only a few hours.
Me: - Um, on Wednesdays I'm normally at Taekwando. .. but it's fine. Really! I can pass a training or two, bachelor thesis is sure more important than that ^_^
E:  - Oh no, dear! You shouldn't sacrifize your hobbies, those are very important for the right mental balance.
Me: *beams with joy*
E: - Now that you have a key of your own, you can open the labs anytime. So, why won't you just come back right after your training? At 8 p.m.? In fact, that would be even better, so I can try one more measurement myself, before you'll need the microscope. Deal?
Me.... yeah, right. Till 8 p.m. then.

Will it be that despicable to wish my amoebas a few more casual death', so that I can enjoy a bit of the spring?
Hm.

P.S.: to make this nervous entry looks a bit less nerdy - I've started watching Firefly and it's absolutely great. If you like SciFi or nor - just go and watch it. Now.
Reminds me strongly of Cowboy Bebob. Especially, because of their cool but somehow really creepy crew. Oh, and because of the sarcasm of the show >3

lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)
 "... and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee." (c) "Meditation XVII" by John Donne. Later quoted up to famous by E. Hemingway novel.

Actually, I can't stand Hemingway, the same goes for Camus, I'm perfectly aware those are great authors, but I just don't like them.
The quote just hits the nail on the head, though.

Usually it's not my style to participate in donations or help_XYZ auctions. After all, something is always going down and one can't feel sorry for the world all the time. 
But, as naive as it may sound, I owe the Japanese culture a bunch of good friends of mine. And it's only fair to pay your debts back.
Also, I'm an egoist and when it comes to nuclear danger everyone is evolved.

So, as my 120_min collegians have already posted (you are great guys!) here you can find my writings - words. (sorry, German only =/)
And here you may bid for some photography stuff - photos. (I'm not very good in photography, sure, but it's about the good will, right?)

P.S.: While speaking about danger... The situation surely is horrifying but doesn't require everybody starting panic about the nuclear overkill right  NOW. Especially some politics here in Germany (WTF?) are overreacting.  A bit.

P.P.S.: You know you should go to sleep, when you are taking the trash out and when already staying by the trash can suddenly notice you are still holding the shoehorn in the hand.. fail >3


P.S.:

Mar. 5th, 2011 10:14 pm
lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)

P.S.:

Speaking of writing and beta readers - perhaps I should reconsider my urge to post anything online till I've found a beta nor less draconic then Sherlock in the following story: And, yes, this fic is so fabulous, it even deserves a separate entry: John secretly writes femslash. Possibly about Sarah and 'Anthea'. Shopping List - June. (should be required lecture to all the fandom authors) 

Also, I can't stop spaming my f-list with jazz samples - Careless Whisper, I'm not a very romantic person (well,I can be sentimental about the weirdest things) but this melody sneaked its way into my heard. (I already sound cheesy. Damn. The next morning I'll sure regret this confession XD)



lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)
The thing I love about studying Chemistry is ...

- having the competence to calculate the medium temperature of the king Zhao Mo's tomb based on the knowledge about the excitation energy of the racemization L to D amino acid and the present-day ratio of L/D in the remaining tooth of a 55-years old body, unearthed while the archaeological excavation in the year 1983.

The thing I hate about studying Chemistry is ...

- the way our professors assume we can solve 12 cases like that in a 3 hours. Makes 15 minutes á problem, when we keep on writing without spending the time on reading the problem twice or scratching the previous solution or even thinking.

The worst thing is - I could have solved all of the problems if there were just a half an hour more (okay, 60 minutes would be better, I'm a bit slow-going when it comes to plot graphs), so now I'm a bit pissed angry and disappointed. I was hoping "kinetic & dynamic" will be my best grade this semester but right now I'm not so sure anymore =/  Which means no A for me ._." (it's a mystery how I can get the best scores in the subjects I can't stand and then totally flunked the ones I love the most. Is it some creepy Chinese curse for disturbing their tombs with my arithmetic?) 

Enough complaining.
Next topic.

I've got a part-time job at the university again! As a tutor for the organic chemistry in the upcoming summer semester :)
(I was really going to stop writing about uni... I failed hard?) Means I'm gonna spent the whole next week running from one administrative office to another: health insurance, tax office, student loan office (Gibt's eine offzielle Übersetzung von BAföG-Amt? o_O") and so on~

And maybe I should stop hearing audio-fics while office going. Oh, and while shopping. I tend to grin like a Cheshire cat and some people do take those looks personal.

I also wanted to describe just how ridiculous my former dance teacher looks in his hotpants but some things are better left unsaid. It was a good kick-boxing evening anyway. Being angry is the best motivation you can get. (can also be cured by sex or alcohol, which are no fun when you're alone, or travelling/museum/nature/sport. And since my lack of money and time made journey or sightseeing quite impossible, I decided on boxing :3 Just imagine how frustrated Crawford must be to get this body? XD stolen from here and if there is still someone out there who missed the sketches, hurry up and enjoy the eye-candies >D)

EDIT: (from now on, it's just random fan waffle, feel free to move on~)

Just finished the 6th episode of my new obsession "White collar" (season 2) and it's still getting better! *_*;; I thought they already used all of my personal kinks and now they come to me with poker and adoptive kids and mafia and oh, so smart, strong, beautiful women and... oh, god, yes (c) >3
(did I ever mention my great-grandfather lost his ancestral home because of his addition to card games? That's why there were no cards allowed till my Mum moved out .. I was about 9 years old as it happened~) Speaking about my Mum - she also agreed Peter is way more sexy then this wanne-be womanizer Neal :3

The interesting thing is - I may love the series to the bits but there is no urge to produce fan-stuff for "White Collar". For Weiß Kreuz I'm still hooked on it, for BBC Sherlock I'm holding the wolf by the ears, unable to move forwards nor backwards with my intentions, but for White Collar I'm just an innocent bystander~

EDIT 2:
About BBC Sherlock - the dilemma is: I have a few pretty plots in my head, but when it comes to writing I'm all confused: the series was in English, the fics I read are, the characters are British, the original work was so too~ so the dialogues in my head are half in German and half in English, which doesn't help at all.
When writing in German I fully enjoy the process; feeling all high and consumed, but writing in English.. well, it's a hard work, looking up the missing vocabulary or grammar problems and at the end it's still full of mistakes and foolish phrases. Not satisfying at all >_<"

But maybe I should cosplay Moriarty, since I look a bit like him (I'm perfectly aware it's not a compliment... Even so, I'd prefer to be more like Mycroft. At least when it comes to his control-freak character. Oh, and I just love wearing suits :3 )


P.S.: I have a strong feeling that I miscalculated the medium tomb temperature >_<" There is no way it's about 303 K. But since the unit is right (if it would be meters or Joule, I'd be confused but Kelvins are just fine~) there must be some miscalculating ... Argh. I'm really angry at myself for being such a dork >_<"

lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)
I've always thought "falling asleep on the desk while working" is an awful hyperbole, a visual metaphor, not something that happens to real people in the real world.
I was wrong.

Not that I'm studying too much (because I'm not. Really -.-") But this one special chapter in my lecture script was just endless boring. And I was tired after the first two exams. But from now on there are just two more exams to pass and then I'm free!
(and I really need to catch up with my f-list, I'm missing you guys~)

Also, it's spring ☆ It's still cold outside, but the the air already smells like perfume of a young cheerful girl (or vice verse. I guess, it's the girls how are borrowing the sweet scents to bewitch us~)

This weekend my Dad decided it's time for his belated Birthday Party, so I'm better packing the presents (despite my ribbons always looking more like the Gordian Knot) at least, in Germany it's not so awkward to have a Birthday on 23th February as it was back in Russia: The Defender of the Fatherland Day - which shouldn't end as the celebration of men as a whole but since women have their International Women's Day on March 8 it somehow still happens. However it's quite absurd to celebrate being a men. Or a women. Why does nobody party for being a human being?) 

Okay, back to sleep now, the working desk turned out to be more comfortable then it seemed to but I'm still preferring my bed.

P.S.: Way too good be wasted a background noise while learning but I'm currently so obsessed with this album [♥]
"Days of Wine and Roses" by Beegie Adair (Jazz!), For example this one - Tangerine.

P.P.S.: Also, I started watching "White Collar" and it's amazing! A charismatic art thief working with his partner in crime and chef and rival and (last but not least) friend - a serious FBI-Agent with high morals and sharp mind. Clever intrigues and funny dialogues. Absolutely recommended! Official Preview


lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)
V-Day:

It's a bit late but I couldn't resist to re-post such a pretty picture~



(c) black-humour

The text reads: 14 February - The Day of Chikatilos execution.(ref.1)
Now that was a really good reason to rejoice. Even if you are just a pathetic single.

It's not that I'm not appreciating love & romantic: last morning I saw that beautiful smoky rose ... and head off to the university smiling like an idiot~

now for the X-Day - Exams date.


I'm overwhelmed. A bit.
Feeling like running out of time. Running out of motivation.
Studying is fun, studying is great - but exams ... the exam phase always makes me feel like I'm wasting my time. I mean - I already know how much I've learned or understood this semester, why should I spend so much time on convincing other people I've done a lot more? *grump*

So, the next week or two you won't hear that much from me~
But first I'd like to give proper credits to our amazing theatre ♥ I'm not that much into modernization the classics (I was complaining about the project "Goethe for young readers" in my school leaving examinations for 4 pages) but I loved the modern "Tartuffe" performance to the very bits. Especially, since the deus ex machina wasn't the royal envoy this time but the maid, who was secretly working for some underground organization :D I know, I know, it sounds really weird, but it's way more realistic that having a kings man sorting things out because... yeah, what other reason could the good man have except for Moliére to get his play allowed?
And I had great company with me - not only she is a cute girl studying chemistry as well (two semesters ahead of me) but she is also a Weiß Kreuz fan. The first one I personally know in the radius of 100 km. Yay! (that's rare, in Göttingen you're more likely to find a vegan or a Buddhist or a transsexual or an ex-soldier rather than some Weiß Kreuz fans.)

My lucky streak in discovering new hobbies seems to hold a bit longer: Does somebody know Anne Holt? A Norwegian crime novelist and lawyer (it seems those two always goes hand in head) Her initial books were nice but quite average, the protagonist was a bit of a Mary Sue (a really cool one, though, I have to admit that much. She was a lesbian, had long, beautiful hair and a perfect intuition XD) but some of Anne Holts last stories were unexpectedly impressing. Especially "What Never Happens". I'm always cynical about books falling in the category  of "psychological thriller" but this one really deserves it.

spoiler )

X-Ray:
It's the subject of my university public speech. Actually it's: "X-Ray and neutron diffraction". I can clearly see the point of teaching students how to give a proper presentation, the problem is: We are about 100 students and each and every one of them have to preform their half an hour. In all the three branches. So, it's three weekend spend in our beloved university. The series of lectures starts on Friday at
1 p.m. and goes till 6 p.m. We could have other lectures on Friday - that's why it starts only at 1 p.m. But hey, the following day is a Saturday! Means - the lecturers starts at 8 a.m. and goes till 6 p.m. On Sunday it's the same. And for Monday it's the schedule of Friday again.
As much as I love my subject, it's a bit too much of knowledge to consume on one weekend.  And I'm going to set the alarm of my mobile phone in order not to oversleep my own presentation...
But, well, it's all planed for April-May. Plenty of time to concoct a plan...

lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)
The week was long and is virtually over now, and since it's approximately Friday, we can almost see it as a weekend, ergo - I'm free to post nonsense :D

My Sherlock obsession is quite a persistent one and the city library had the book with the original illustrations [squee!] and I have to admit that BBC has done their homework really well.

Chemistry was so primitive, logical, simple those days~




But the spirit of science hadn't changed much :D





(all the sceencaps were made by great aithine)

Talking about the progress. One of the free lectures in this year's Science Festival was about the revolutions in Chemestry  "Drug Development in the 21st century" hold by Prof. MD. DSc. Aaron Ciechanover (an Israeli biologist and Nobel laureate in Chemistry) and I still can't decide if I found it interesting or boring. It was more a philosophy discussion than scientific presentation and I did agree with him at the most points, but there were no thrill in it, nothing new to chew or to be in doubt about. It was more like a historical overview of the three eras:

1) the era of serendipity. Accidental, yet, bloody lucky circumstances leads to the discovering of aspirin & penicillin. The blockbusters of drugs.
2) the second era of the brute force. Targeted screening consumes billions of dollars and is quite a stupid way of research based only on the idea, that if we screen billions of billions of billions compounds, than maybe one of them will be useful. Good, it brought us statins, so may be I'm a bit overreacting...
3) the third one we have now - the pyjama medicine, when the therapy for the breast cancer works on one person and only does damage to another.

So, (he told) there is a new, up-coming idea of personalized medicine - drugs based on the DNA.
And now it's finally getting to a controversial issue - how long will it take till people will demand to make their DNA public? And I'm not only talking about the assurance companies.

Let's talk about romantic then. All those "emotional things". When you look for a partner it's all about love and affection, but no one will deny the instinctual searching for a person with nearly the same intelligent, health, education and culture level. More or less consciously. (those are not just my own thoughts - the statistic insists on it)
And who won't know if their future partner really is healthy or is carrying a hidden handicap in them? Can you overcome the temptation to peek up?

I'm quite sure, I couldn't.



But that's enough for now, I'm sleepy and still a bit sore from the flu, so let's move on to the funny part. Weekend pic-spam <3


cut for a few more bad quality photos & screencaps )


And my favourite illustration to complete the homage:




P.S.: Nyx, this one is for you: Please, confirm you are human >3  
I really do exist )

P².S.: Oh, my summary was redundant, there is already other one on the internet xlab-goettingen

P³.S.: Also, I'm the dorm representative now :) The elections were yesterday - and now it's official! There were two opposing parties and three candidates. Nobody knew a thing about me, but people rather choose a third option then their enemy :D And I'm quite good at putting lipstick on the pig without lying. I'm just didn't tell them about my bad sides.
Means, I can stay in the student dorm for another year! :D
lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)

Und ich bin schon wieder dabei eine Party zu schwänzen, zu der ich eigentlich wollte. Stattdessen sitze ich nun hier, trinke Pfirsichtee, klaue immer wieder ein paar Löffel Nachttisch aus dem Kühlschrank und kann mich einfach nicht dazu überwinden, lange genug bei einem Gedanken zu verweilen um diesen zu verwirklichen.

An solchen Abenden lohnt es sich nicht an die Zukunft zu denken oder irgendwelche Entscheidungen zu treffen, aber man kann sehr gut in Erinnerungen schwelgen~ Fangen wir daher Ende letzte Wiche an - der Valentinstag. Den verbrachte ich im Klinikum XD Besser gesagt die Nacht zum 14., als ich mit einem Notrufkrankenwagen eingeliefert wurde. Doch keine Blinddarmenzündungen auch wenn es sich so angefühlt hat. Noch mal Schwein gehabt. Um 3 Uhr Morgens durfte ich dann wieder nachhause gehen (ich konnte auch bleiben, aber ich hasse Krankenhäuser x.x"). Es war kalt, dunkel, ich war alleine und mir ging es immer noch nicht wirklich gut (warum müssen die Ärzte einem immer so verdammt viel Blut abnehmen? x_X" Für Menschen mit niedrigem Blutdruck ist es keine empfehlenswerte Vorgehensweise um ihnen wieder auf die Beine zu helfen~) In so einer Situation ist es also kein Wunder, wenn einem recht düstere Gedanken durch den Kopf geistern (dabei mag ich es sonst doch sehr gerne, nachts alleine spazieren zu gehen.. aber nicht wenn man sich dabei wie ein übergroßer, pulsierender und schmerzender Magen auf dünnen und langen Beinchen vorkommen, die jede Minute unter einem wegknicken können) Was bleibt einem ja auch sonst übrig, wenn man weder Musik noch Handschuhe mit hat und sich irgendwie von den übergereizten Inneren ablenken muss.
Am gleichen Tag hatte ich nämlich in Yahoo!News (also aus einer äußerst glaubwürdigen Quelle) einen witzigen Artikel über die Singles gelesen - es ging darum, dass Frauen zu hohe Ansprüche stellen und daher am Ende alleine stehen. Nun solange es so übertrieben und realitätsfern ist wie in dem Bildchen hier, kann ich die Kritik durchaus verstehen.

Aber warum lässt mich die Vorstellung nicht los, dass die meisten "stop making such a fuss, babe, and take what you can get"-Ratschläge auf der schierer Angst basieren, am Ende der Tage wirklich so alleine und verlassen da zu sitzen wie das Skelett der armen Frau aus dem Bild. Angst ist ein wunderbarer Triebstoff, das will ich ja nicht bestreiten.
Eine weitere genauso prominente wissenschaftliche Quelle - Sex and The City - hatte einmal eine Episode gebracht, in der eine erfolgreiche alleinstehende Anwältin eine kleine Panikattacke erlebt, als sie sich vorstellt, wie sie stirbt und wochenlang in der tollen neuen Wohnung vermodert, bis ihre von Hunger geplagte Katze schließlich das Gesicht des toten Frauchens auffrisst.

Ich gebe also durchaus zu, dass auch mir diese 'Angst' nicht fremd ist und gerade in so einer Nacht wird es einem erst richtig, hautnah bewusst.

Dennoch.

Ich könnte es mir nicht vorstellen, alleine aus Angst nichts besseres zu kriegen, einen X-beliebigen Mann/Frau zu nehmen. Vielleicht sage ich es nur, weil ich noch nie abgewiesen wurde.Vielleicht weil ich noch zu jung und deshalb so kompromisslos bin. Vielleicht bin ich noch nicht verzweifelt genug. Vielleicht habe ich eine zu hoher Meinung von mir selbst. Vielleicht habe ich zu viel gelesen. Vielleicht bin ich aber auch einfach nur selbstverliebt.

.... Vielleicht ende ich wirklich, wie das Skelett da.

Aber der Mensch, für den ich mich entscheide, muss nicht perfekt sein. Er muss nur zu mir passen. Was ich gerne hätte, wäre ein Partner, nicht mehr aber auch nicht weniger.
Dergleichen gilt auch für Freunde - Bekannte, die können von mir aus auch dumm oder charakterlos sein. Solange es ein Thema gibt, über welches man sich gut unterhalten kann, tue ich es gerne - egal, was ich sonst von dem Menschen halte. Wirkliche Freundschaft verlangt auch nach Respekt. Liebe ebenso.

Zumindest in meiner Vorstellung.

Die aber wahrscheinlich nicht viel zählt, denn auf dem Gebiet bin ich ein Looser, das gebe ich offen zu - ich hatte meine zwei Versuche und habe es beide Male beendet. Vielleicht kommt es noch.

Und wenn nicht, sollte ich mir eine Katze zulegen.

____________________________

PS: Oh and by the way.. diese Party, zu der ich wollte, war eigentlich eine Gay Night xD Aber who cares -. der Grundgedanke ist anwendbar auf jede Art Zwischenmenschliche Beziehung... oder? o.o"

PPS: Eigentlich wollte ich es am 14.02 posten, aber wie gesagt - ich war gesundheitlich nicht ganz beisammen. Und dann kamen noch die Klausuren dazu und ich habe meine Empörung vergessen. Jetzt kommt es wieder, weil mein Lesestoff alle ist ._."

PPPS: Übrigens, durch die Vergiftung (oder whatever es auch war) musste ich einige Tage auf Schonkost umsteigen und da wurde mir erst wirklich bewusst, wie sehr ich auf Kartoffel stehe. Pellkartoffel ♥ Das ist wirklich wahre Liebe..... trotzdem gut, dass ich jetzt wieder normal essen kann und Hühnchen und Äpfel und Quark. Verdammt, ich bin verfressen, ja, ich stehe dazu <.<" Ich muss doch wieder zu Kräften kommen, damit ich nicht wieder nach einer Stunde Kickboxing schlappmache ._."   

... ein letzter sinnloser Kommentar noch für heute: Grüntee mit Jasmingeschmack ist auch Liebe XD

lokuro: It's the solar system, by ? (Default)

Ich gelobe feierlich, mich nie mehr über das deutsche Wetter zu beschweren, falls es mir mal wieder viel zu trübselig und kalt erscheint. Denn heute war es sonnig und warm und der kühle angenehme Wind perfektionierte das Gesamtbild zu einem Traumtag. Und natürlich bin ich in der Mittagsessenpause zum lernen nach draußen gegangen, welchen Sinn hätte es denn auch gehabt, in der Mensa zu bleiben, wenn es in Schatten des kleinen Wäldchens nebenan so viel schöner ist? Und natürlich waren alle Lernunterlagen fein säuberlich sortiert auch mitgekommen und genau in so einem ordentlichen Stapel verharrten sie auch die gesamte zweistündigen Mittagspause. Da war dieses eine Buch, das ich vorher  nur noch ganz kurz zu Ende lesen wollte... (übrigens, wäre ich ein ehrenhafter Gentleman müsste ich das Buch jetzt heiraten kaufen, ich habe über eine halbe Seite zufällig Kaffee verschüttet und es befleckt .__."") Dann musste man über den Inhalt nachsinnen - ein Nachsinnen, welches so tief ging, das ich auf das Unbewusste Denken umschalten musste.... Na und, dass ich eingeschlafen bin, das ist gesund! >_<"
Allerdings musste in der folgenden Nachmittagssemenarstunde ganz viel improvisieren werden. Damn.
Da haben wir es, schönes Wetter ist schuld daran, dass ich mich irgendwie so entspannt und glücklich fühle, wie selten jemals... oder vielleicht sollte ich einfach mehr schlafen - wie immer XD

Daher werde ich die Unmengen an Fotos erst am WE sortieren. Und mich auf die Klausur vorbereiten. Und aufräumen. Und zum Bücherverkauf in der Stadtsbücherei fahren. Und vielleicht mal mit Cosplay anfangen.Und unbedingt die Sommerchallenges schreiben. Und eine Zeitmachine erfinden um das alles zu schaffen.


PS: Was sagt es über unser Zeitalter aus, wenn ein Kerl, der zwei Plätze weiter vor mir sitzt, mir eine E-Mail schickt um zu fragen, ob ich mit ihm ins Kino möchte? Und anschließend gibt's virtuellen Cafe und Cybersex (definitiv nicht mit ihm, ich bin eine Größefetechististen, Mädchen dürfen kleiner sein als ich, Kerle nicht :D)  Irgendwie finde ich es trotz meiner Liebe zu bloggen und virtueller Kommunikation ein wenig irritierend <.<"


P²S: Der eigentliche Sinn dieses sinnfreien Eintrages besteht darin, in mir ein kaum bis gar nicht vorhandenes Gewissen wach zu rütteln, damit ich endlich die dringend-to-do Liste abarbeite. Argz, ich will zurück in Urlaub <.<"

P³S: Heute im Sportzentrum zufällig unserem Karatesensei über den Weg gelaufen - der neue Kurs fängt erst Mitte Oktober mit offiziellem Vorlesungsbeginn an. Bu, und ich hatte mich schon gefreut, aufkommende Agressionen friedlich ablassen zu können  =/

Und trotzdem ein paar neue Bilder ^^"
 

picspam XS )

 


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