[delocalized mind]

I'm a bit exhausted. Liar.
To tell  the truth, I'm really dead tired. Maybe I have no stamina or it's too dark and misty outside or maybe I just hate organic synthesis and lab-practice.
Whatever.
The first master semester is the worst - it's getting better afterwards. And don't tell me otherwise, 'cause it's the only hope I have.

Shameless pimping from our university: chemistry promotion video (I personally know 90 % of those people and all of the apparatus, so for me it seems a bit awkward with that sterile, unpersonalized off-screen voice.)
It's not science, it's art (almost German, but hey, there are pretty pictures of colorful test tubes?..)

I do find it a bit unfair, all you get to see in the vid is about organic chemistry. Well, at least 95 % of the show are. The lasers and the secretary girls aren't. Does they only mentioned all the three departments (bio+organics & anorganics & physics chemistry) to better focus on one?
And why is physical chemistry so shy? Without theoretical & physical departments there won't be any test tubes experiments and nothing to show off. Sure, page-long formulas or shiny vacuum-instruments aren't so sparky as simple test tubes but... it's chemistry too. Lasers and bombs, biophysics and thermodynamics, nano-particles and tunnel-electrons, Schrödinger & Heisenberg, eigenfunctions and quantum chemistry.

Why don't we have as mighty lobby as the organics with their pharmacy industry?





P.S.: Don't get me wrong, I still like the vid and my faculty. Despite the nagging. It's just ... I wished for more physical chemistry stuff in it, because I'm starting to feel like I belong to a repressed minority group o.Ô"
It's honorable but hard.

I'm done with my Bachelor Thesis.

And the grade's better to be really good, for I had spent 4 month experimenting and writing and negating that overrated thing called private life. (... and almost 90€ (=130$) for printing and binding ò.ó" - 70 pages in color and the pretty darkblue cover XD)

The fact (that I'm done) haven't fully trickled into my head yet. That I'm free. That I don't have to get up at 8 a.m. and start writing, that the presentation was a success (I have forgotten almost the half of all the things I wanted to mention and was still speaking for good 40 minutes~) And that the summer is back, even if it's only for a few days...

But when I came home yesterday, all done and happy and adrenalin-crazy, I just fell asleep... Embarrassing, isn't it? At the age of 24 one should go party, not curling in their bed and just laying still, too tiered to even put another Inkheart CD into the player~ (Tintenherz: a young-adult novel <3)

Then again, a guy who started with his thesis at the same time as me and in the same research group was taken to psychiatry yesterday. He's now in therapy and will stay in hospital for at least 4 weeks. So, I guess, my panic attacks before the presentation were still normal. (And boys are not as stable as girls when it comes to stress.)

Also, I've learned a lot of important and less-important things. The less-important ones are going to stuck in my head forever... For example, while learning python (programming language) I got curious about why on or earth is it called python? (My family name goes back to one certain python species, so I'm a bit touchy-feely when it comes to snakes~) I've never heard of Monthy Python till I've started programming - The show is a bit lame but it sure has it moments. Especially the film "Life of Brain". This one episode is just epic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQqq3e03EBQ
"You are all individuals!"
Yes, we are all individuals..."
"You are all different!"
"Yes, we are all different..."
"I'm not..."

The joke is really old, I know. Still love it <3

Cut for fancy thesis work and my typical university-talk about research, Profs and magic spells <3



( click )

Speaking about freaks.
Can't wait to see the next Sherlock BBC series!
It will be hard to take the both guys serious after they announced Sherlock as Smaug, the Dragon, and John as Hobbit.. but I'll try my best not to giggle out lout. After-all, it's a crime-scene<3



(Crime-scenes can be quite obscure in real life... Once in a few years we get those book-voucher for our university-stuff and it's never enough, the books are so bloody expensive I depend on our library for my survival.  But anyway - this year I got myself one great Physical Chemistry textbook (Atkins) and for a few coins change a forensic-investigations-history book as well ♥ So far, I'm quite happy with the decision!)  

To continue with crimes and bullets and so on - I absolutely love shooting <3 It's relaxing and helps to concentrate your mind and take control of the body. It also improves your ego each time you hit the target :D (and I'm pretty good at that) Don't worry I'm speaking of paper targets - my hobby stays clean. The only damage I'm doing is to myself: sore muscles from the heavy rifle.
(And last time there was this old woman (Miss Marple? o.O") with a fancy necklet and a bright summer-dress, all sweet and nice, smiling, telling us some funny stories from the time she was still working ... and then taking her gun out of the handbag and shooting the target down. That was really some creepy old Lady. Respect!)


Well, I guess, the break is over - back to work.

Wish me inspiration for the BA-thesis, dear world :3

"The thing Jayne loves about zombies is that they're easy [...]
Sure, it'd get boring if they hung around too long – the things are so slow they're like a target for bitty babies holding their very first guns – but sometimes, a man just likes kick back, relax, and shoot holes in a few heads. "

Can you imagine a better working day then hearing this fabulous audio!fic about Firefly (space cowboys!) and Zombies and malicious politics ... and working on your bachelor thesis in an empty lab, feeling like a king of your own slightly insane empire?~
Half of my research group is on holiday, so the lab's mine to rule! *muhrhr*

If only the computer wasn't telling me in the middle of an experiment that he can't find the microscope anymore. My first thought was, that a cable was detached, so I went down on my knees searching the cable-salad for some loose connections. Half an hour and a shiny tidy floor later I was at the end of my nerves and just shut the whole damn thing down. And then... a miracle! All of sudden the program seems to recognize the microscope again... I hate that thing and it's lunatic sense of humour.
So, if only the whole adjustment wouldn't take so long - the last two weeks I was getting home about 8 p.m. and so damn hungry and tired as if I was pushing heavy rocks up some steeply mountain, the whole work could be quite ... relaxing >D
(Yeah, good bye Taekwondo! My teacher will kill me the next time he'll see me. If he ever see me again.. lucky me, the last weeks had quite a few public holidays in Germany and on those days I only stepped by in the labs for a few hours, curious about the results of the last night...)

But, well, instead of ranting, I'd rather show off a bit - I got an A+ (1,0) for my presentation! ^__^ (shiny!)

Well, I was good, I just never expected being that good. But if they insists, I sure won't complain. In fact, I was feeling rather disappointed after I finished, I had so much more to tell the auditorium, but the questions were all dull (why the hell they asked me about the construction of some boring neutron reactor if they could have seen the very long derivation of the Fourier transformation instead?)

And on Wednesday I had an oral examination in the subject I always hated the most, so I probably should have been learning the last weekend real hard.
Expect that I was visiting that Doctor!girl I met at the shooting club... It was a warm and pleasantly odd evening on her balcony with some strange medicine students [those people are really, really creepy, but funny to chat with >3) and a guy who danced tango like a professional seducer. Just perfect. Finally I found someone who's taller than me! I only hope the next time won't be in a dark hallway but on the dance floor.
(Also, he's an American, reminds me a bit of Crawford >3 are people from oversea really that tall or is it just it just me, who's so lucky?)

... and I still got over with that oral examination. I'm not sure, which grade I'll get, but I had definitely not failed - otherwise the Prof would have told me so; he's someone who really enjoys telling students they failed the topic and have to come in a few weeks to see him again.

Strangely, I don't fell overworked lately. Not too much at least.
Sure, I'm spending all my free time working on that programming stuff, or lingering in the lab, but it's still interesting and I'm feeling so alive.

Also, have found myself great colleagues. And some friends too. And that tall medicine student to dance with <3
(Damn, he was just gorgeous!)

Especially unusual is having people around, who share more than two interests of yours.
You know that one cute girl from the university I was talking about lately?
Not only I can invite her over in my office and we'll chat about Weiß Kreuz over coffee (we're both schwarz fans <3), and science, and Profs. And... the world domination? But we can also go hiking in a beautiful forest nearby or having our Sunday film-nights with lots of Sci-Fi & Sherlock and laughing, and... I never had a friend to share all the interests at once; always had to split them to three or four people to bear, so I'm a bit suspicious - the girl is way too matching me to be real. (Well, not too perfect after all - we have totally different eating habits. How on earth doesn't she like spinach and paprika and aubergine? o.o) But It's a great feeling finding a friend like this.
... Oh, and the guys at the labs are quite interesting as colleagues too - and yes, I do find that quite abnormal unusual.
(btw, except from one exchange-student from China - I'm the only girl there. Now, that's fine with me <3)

Back to my actual thesis (I know, my f-list is probably already sick and tired of hearing about amoebas and so... but I'm afraid it won't change till I'm done with this subject ^^" Can you bear with it till August?)

Wanna see some creepy, bacteria contaminated data? <3



And my cool microscope with it's golden electrode? ^.^
(the poor cam quality doesn't do him justice, I'm afraid)



( a few more shiny close up's )

Just one more thing...
On Wednesday-evening I had a quite revealing conversation with some of the technical assistants from the labs. She asked me if could turned off one of the apparatus downstairs for it's her finishing time and she don't want to wait a few more hours for the machine to cool down.

me: Sure, no problem! I'll stay here till late anyway~ *sigh*
TA: As usual, um? You sure want to make the best of you. Me on the other hand... Well, I already have my house, kids and a dog, but when you want a career, you sure have to stay till late and work hard. I'd rather have my family.

Some of those old women who likes to patronized you. Fine and all. But I just can't agree with her.

Sure, I want success, and, yeah, I deserve acknowledgement (who don't?) and I sure as hell want to make a Doctor Degree afterwards, but someday I want my house as well. And a child and a partner whom I can trust (expert for the dog. I'm a cat type <3) and free time to travel around the world and going out with friends and ... is it the bitter really, that you can't have everything you want, or is it just her way to excuse herself?

Then on the other hand, I was sure willing to turn the apparatus off since I spend the last few weeks almost living there.
So may be she has a point after all.

But.
We have those two Profs in our working group. A. & B. (it's their real names shortcuts <3)
And did I ever mention how really handsome my Prof. A. is? And how absolutely sweet his wife is? She taught us Biomolecular Chemistry in the fifth semester...And how cute the two little boys of the Prof. B are?

So, yeah, they don't look like they are suffering from loneliness. I guess, I'll manage it too. Somehow.



And if not... well, my amobeas still love me <3
('cause I have the glucose which makes them happy and the caffeine which calm them down~ xD)

I'm still alive. Kind of. Just a bit busy.

With stuff like:

Learning how to work in a sterilized lab. How to handle an atomic force microscopy without breaking this hideously expensive, bitching princess thing.
Not going mad at the amebae or at my stupid self for forgetting to put the lid over the gold electrode for the night. You see, the most of my measurements goes over night, so if the lid is not there, the solution, where my pets are swimming around peacefully, will vaporises after just a few hours and they will painfully suffocate... while - for the sake of the experiment (!) - they are supposed to starve to death. Um.

Learning python. One of the most simple programming language. Or so I was told. Um.
Then again, I can use the few techniques I've already learned for ImageProcessing to automatise trimming my holiday photos. If I ever have holidays again.
(by the way, in UNIX shell programming there some really elegant rules: for example, you start a command with an if and you have to end your order with an fi. Also, once a program cowardly refused to obey. And yes, I'm quoting it word-for-word. Linux is sure crazy. And fun <3)

Oh, and I've managed that double-kick from Taekwando <3 And had my first shooting without a supporting "pillar" under my gun. Never thought that rifle was so damn heavy... I mean, I really have some muscles, I've trained with shinai for some years, I've done exercises with free weights - not regularly but still... I just can't stay still enough to take accurate aim. That's annoying! Especially since with that pillar I'm really, really good. Bother!
Well, I'll have to improve then <3

Oh, and I have to find time to sleep as well.
But not before I'll take a final look at my presentation for the next weekend. My turn is next Sunday, at 11 a.m. Yes, we're are just that hardcore in Göttingen.

And that one dear fellow from my university will convince me into an audio!WK-fanfiction. Damn her and her great ideas.

As for the shadow sides.... I'm consistently tiered. Physical and somehow emotional too. And I have that troublesome feeling of achieving nothing at all. Just struggling. Struggling and getting even more exhausted. I'm quite a patient type, but this time I want to see some results. Like. NOW.
Um...

So, in order to manage that current crazy schedule a bit better, I guess, I'll have to make my internet presence even shorter ._."
Don't forget about me, dears. Because I sure won't!
I'll be back (c)
<3

______________________________

P.S. Greeting back for kuru :3

P².S: Oh, and to explain the title of the entry: whenever the things gets too stressed for me, I tend to miss the deadline for returning the books back to the city library. This time I own them exactly 13 € for being such an idiot. Come to think of it - not my worst score.

[Edit] - link fixed

Actually, I planed to relax and enjoy the time left till the university will start.. Well, it doesn't exactly turned out the way I planed.

For example - the last night I was awake, wandering through the darkness and drinking cheap coffee~
Oh no, it wasn’t a night full of party and dancing.
And nope, I wasn’t learning all the time either.
Any other suggestion?
How about: At midnight there were some fire officers knocking at my door – “You have to leave the apartment immediately:  We vacate the whole building due to a bomb disposal nearby. You can spent the time in the clinic on the corner, there is already an information stand waiting if you have any questions. Thank you.”
Everything was really well organized, I have to admit that much.

I still hope, that night will stay quite a ... unique experience.
Everything worked out well, they could defuse the bomb =)
(btw, it was an old British aircraft bomb)

And now I really need to catch up on sleep in order not to spill the bacteria solution on the aseptic clean extractor hood. (I started with my first independent research this week!! Yeah, me!)

And not to feel that sore and aching after Taekwondo, which turned out to be really fun =) It is much less a way of life then Karate was~ Oh, and you can spin around till you're dizzy >D

Also, as the true fan of our theatre I was visiting the April's play - "You can't take it with you", which was amazingly funny and somehow really wise <3 (photos from the show - German; and a link to the film, based on the play - English)

During the weekend I should have a bit more free time to ramble around LJ and answer all the interesting treads <3
Sleep well~

Some people accuse me of being a very cold and an insensible person. That's not true! I can get quite emotional. For example - I'm thrilled by the Russell-Paradox >3

Russell starts his reasoning with teaspoons. The collection of teaspoons clearly doesn't include itself as an element (you have to be a teaspoon to belong to this highly specified set of elements) But what about the complementary collection with elements defined as "not a teaspoon"? Since the set of not-a-teaspoon items is not a teaspoon, this set does contain itself as it's member.

Now, the next step: Let' us create the set S of all the sets that are not members of themselves. Will it contain itself?
Obviously, it can't. It would be against the rules, the definition is not to be a member of the set.
But when it's not a member of the set, it falls in the category of sets that doesn't contain themselves as an element and therefore it is the member of the set S.
You see - whether it is a member or not, we can't avoid the contradiction. The paradox.

Love those things <3

But, well, to prevent further accusations, I should post something really romantic and sweet right now  :3 Just as the [P.S.] to my former sms:
here comes the sun~
(c)

[updates]

University: Just one exam left! The problem is: I have almost 2 weeks to prepare which means... sure as hell, I'll get distracted and fuck it up. Focus, my dear! Concentrate! 

Job: A few hours ago I signed my employment contract, I was talking about in the previous entries. Since it's only a part-time job, it's bringing me just ~125 €/month (=174 US$) but the paper work I had to fill today assumed I was signing for some secret government position o_O" article, paragraph, clause - the poor secretary had to read it out loud. So, now I've confirmed by the oath that I won't give away any state or private secrets. Now, I'm really curios what's coming up to me XD

Culture:  I spend the whole weekend at my parent's, so we finally visited Hameln! The town where the Pied Piper of Hamelin walked abroad >3 The puppet theatre show was pure magic, I truly regretted, I left my camera home =/

Cinema: "Unknown Identity" - I'm tempted to say, that the best thing was the company the locations where the picture was filmed - in Berlin ♥ But I have to admit, the true Identity of the protagonist was fun to discover >3 (scores: 8/10)

Books: I found an old SciFi-novel written by Belyayev! *_*;; Just as cool as Jules Verne's stories! As a child I was heavenly in love with his books - dreaming about travelling, discovering new islands and creatures, and experiencing all the cool adventures :3

Or, and, of cause the fandom-meme, sponsored by my dear f-list >3

( fandom love-life XD )
__________


[@Japan. Not praying but thinking about, feeling with and hoping the best.]


PS.: I'm really quite sleepy right now, so I'll beta read this post tomorrow, not now @.@

A short time-out to celebrate I've passed at least 2 of 4 exams :3 (the results were announcement via the ad board a few hours ago)

My dear sweeties, my upcoming tests, you can terrorize me with the threat of failing as much as you like, but in the end each and every one of you will end in my infernal hot cup of coffee  :3




P.S.:  shameless showing-off (German only, sorry, but I really like this one, even so it's just a short lunatic thing :3 Die lokale Apokalypse)

and off again~ :3