[delocalized mind]

My microwave exploded, I have a sore throat and some fever, and the first Master-of-Science semester is anything but structured.
My schedule is full but due to our new, extraordinarily confusing university catalog (Studienordnung) I can't shake the feeling, I'm still missing some important lectures. And I hate lab-work. I'm a theorist not a synthesis-genius like that shy Breaking Bad chemistry teacher. Unfortunately. Otherwise I'd be out there in a veld, cooking meth with a cute hip-hopper XD
By the way, are there any fans of that amazing, dark humored, depressing and simply gorgeous series in my f-list? (Except the one, who is to blame in the first place <3)

Also, after the research work during the Bachelor thesis, it feels a bit weird to play student again. Plus, there are profs from Swiss & Ukraine holding their lectures in German, which sounds a bit wearisome, and German profs lecturing in English - vice versa would be a bit simpler but our administration despises simple decisions.

At least, it's not dull.

Last Tuesday we had a lecture about spectroscopy, especially the Mößbauer-Effect. Let me quote the slides with the synopsis of its discovery:

before 1958:   it could have been discovered earlier. But it wasn't.
1958:               discovered. Nobody cares.
1958-59:          okay, someone cares.. but doesn't believe it.
1959:               fine, everyone believes it. Still doesn't care.
1959-60:          Oh...
1961:               Nobel Prize!

Another Prof, another lecture:

"Here you can see the structure of serotonin: one of the neurotransmitters, responsible for the musculature relaxing, a so called 'happiness hormone'. Interesting fact: When in love, the level of serotonin is quite low. Then again, a person in love is excited not relaxed. Or so I have read."

And he was bloody serious about it. Lately I tend to think I'm going to end like him. What molecule exactly am I missing?
Enough of university, I still have my 'reactiondynamic' homework to procrastinate.

Oh, and John Le Carré is amazing when he writes about Ost- & West-Germany and the Cold War. It's been a while since I enjoyed such a well-plotted old-school Spy Fiction. No unnecessary details, every word is in the right place. And he sure has great observation skills. When he starts to describe a person I almost see a breathing human being even if he missed to mention their hair or eye colour or did so only at the end of the page.

Last but not least, Berlin was amazing, thank you, my dear <3

( about 20 Berlin photos )


...Yay. Reaction-dynamics time!

Cut for fancy thesis work and my typical university-talk about research, Profs and magic spells <3



( click )

Speaking about freaks.
Can't wait to see the next Sherlock BBC series!
It will be hard to take the both guys serious after they announced Sherlock as Smaug, the Dragon, and John as Hobbit.. but I'll try my best not to giggle out lout. After-all, it's a crime-scene<3



(Crime-scenes can be quite obscure in real life... Once in a few years we get those book-voucher for our university-stuff and it's never enough, the books are so bloody expensive I depend on our library for my survival.  But anyway - this year I got myself one great Physical Chemistry textbook (Atkins) and for a few coins change a forensic-investigations-history book as well ♥ So far, I'm quite happy with the decision!)  

To continue with crimes and bullets and so on - I absolutely love shooting <3 It's relaxing and helps to concentrate your mind and take control of the body. It also improves your ego each time you hit the target :D (and I'm pretty good at that) Don't worry I'm speaking of paper targets - my hobby stays clean. The only damage I'm doing is to myself: sore muscles from the heavy rifle.
(And last time there was this old woman (Miss Marple? o.O") with a fancy necklet and a bright summer-dress, all sweet and nice, smiling, telling us some funny stories from the time she was still working ... and then taking her gun out of the handbag and shooting the target down. That was really some creepy old Lady. Respect!)


Well, I guess, the break is over - back to work.

Wish me inspiration for the BA-thesis, dear world :3

"The thing Jayne loves about zombies is that they're easy [...]
Sure, it'd get boring if they hung around too long – the things are so slow they're like a target for bitty babies holding their very first guns – but sometimes, a man just likes kick back, relax, and shoot holes in a few heads. "

Can you imagine a better working day then hearing this fabulous audio!fic about Firefly (space cowboys!) and Zombies and malicious politics ... and working on your bachelor thesis in an empty lab, feeling like a king of your own slightly insane empire?~
Half of my research group is on holiday, so the lab's mine to rule! *muhrhr*

If only the computer wasn't telling me in the middle of an experiment that he can't find the microscope anymore. My first thought was, that a cable was detached, so I went down on my knees searching the cable-salad for some loose connections. Half an hour and a shiny tidy floor later I was at the end of my nerves and just shut the whole damn thing down. And then... a miracle! All of sudden the program seems to recognize the microscope again... I hate that thing and it's lunatic sense of humour.
So, if only the whole adjustment wouldn't take so long - the last two weeks I was getting home about 8 p.m. and so damn hungry and tired as if I was pushing heavy rocks up some steeply mountain, the whole work could be quite ... relaxing >D
(Yeah, good bye Taekwondo! My teacher will kill me the next time he'll see me. If he ever see me again.. lucky me, the last weeks had quite a few public holidays in Germany and on those days I only stepped by in the labs for a few hours, curious about the results of the last night...)

But, well, instead of ranting, I'd rather show off a bit - I got an A+ (1,0) for my presentation! ^__^ (shiny!)

Well, I was good, I just never expected being that good. But if they insists, I sure won't complain. In fact, I was feeling rather disappointed after I finished, I had so much more to tell the auditorium, but the questions were all dull (why the hell they asked me about the construction of some boring neutron reactor if they could have seen the very long derivation of the Fourier transformation instead?)

And on Wednesday I had an oral examination in the subject I always hated the most, so I probably should have been learning the last weekend real hard.
Expect that I was visiting that Doctor!girl I met at the shooting club... It was a warm and pleasantly odd evening on her balcony with some strange medicine students [those people are really, really creepy, but funny to chat with >3) and a guy who danced tango like a professional seducer. Just perfect. Finally I found someone who's taller than me! I only hope the next time won't be in a dark hallway but on the dance floor.
(Also, he's an American, reminds me a bit of Crawford >3 are people from oversea really that tall or is it just it just me, who's so lucky?)

... and I still got over with that oral examination. I'm not sure, which grade I'll get, but I had definitely not failed - otherwise the Prof would have told me so; he's someone who really enjoys telling students they failed the topic and have to come in a few weeks to see him again.

Strangely, I don't fell overworked lately. Not too much at least.
Sure, I'm spending all my free time working on that programming stuff, or lingering in the lab, but it's still interesting and I'm feeling so alive.

Also, have found myself great colleagues. And some friends too. And that tall medicine student to dance with <3
(Damn, he was just gorgeous!)

Especially unusual is having people around, who share more than two interests of yours.
You know that one cute girl from the university I was talking about lately?
Not only I can invite her over in my office and we'll chat about Weiß Kreuz over coffee (we're both schwarz fans <3), and science, and Profs. And... the world domination? But we can also go hiking in a beautiful forest nearby or having our Sunday film-nights with lots of Sci-Fi & Sherlock and laughing, and... I never had a friend to share all the interests at once; always had to split them to three or four people to bear, so I'm a bit suspicious - the girl is way too matching me to be real. (Well, not too perfect after all - we have totally different eating habits. How on earth doesn't she like spinach and paprika and aubergine? o.o) But It's a great feeling finding a friend like this.
... Oh, and the guys at the labs are quite interesting as colleagues too - and yes, I do find that quite abnormal unusual.
(btw, except from one exchange-student from China - I'm the only girl there. Now, that's fine with me <3)

Back to my actual thesis (I know, my f-list is probably already sick and tired of hearing about amoebas and so... but I'm afraid it won't change till I'm done with this subject ^^" Can you bear with it till August?)

Wanna see some creepy, bacteria contaminated data? <3



And my cool microscope with it's golden electrode? ^.^
(the poor cam quality doesn't do him justice, I'm afraid)



( a few more shiny close up's )

Just one more thing...
On Wednesday-evening I had a quite revealing conversation with some of the technical assistants from the labs. She asked me if could turned off one of the apparatus downstairs for it's her finishing time and she don't want to wait a few more hours for the machine to cool down.

me: Sure, no problem! I'll stay here till late anyway~ *sigh*
TA: As usual, um? You sure want to make the best of you. Me on the other hand... Well, I already have my house, kids and a dog, but when you want a career, you sure have to stay till late and work hard. I'd rather have my family.

Some of those old women who likes to patronized you. Fine and all. But I just can't agree with her.

Sure, I want success, and, yeah, I deserve acknowledgement (who don't?) and I sure as hell want to make a Doctor Degree afterwards, but someday I want my house as well. And a child and a partner whom I can trust (expert for the dog. I'm a cat type <3) and free time to travel around the world and going out with friends and ... is it the bitter really, that you can't have everything you want, or is it just her way to excuse herself?

Then on the other hand, I was sure willing to turn the apparatus off since I spend the last few weeks almost living there.
So may be she has a point after all.

But.
We have those two Profs in our working group. A. & B. (it's their real names shortcuts <3)
And did I ever mention how really handsome my Prof. A. is? And how absolutely sweet his wife is? She taught us Biomolecular Chemistry in the fifth semester...And how cute the two little boys of the Prof. B are?

So, yeah, they don't look like they are suffering from loneliness. I guess, I'll manage it too. Somehow.



And if not... well, my amobeas still love me <3
('cause I have the glucose which makes them happy and the caffeine which calm them down~ xD)

I'm still alive. Kind of. Just a bit busy.

With stuff like:

Learning how to work in a sterilized lab. How to handle an atomic force microscopy without breaking this hideously expensive, bitching princess thing.
Not going mad at the amebae or at my stupid self for forgetting to put the lid over the gold electrode for the night. You see, the most of my measurements goes over night, so if the lid is not there, the solution, where my pets are swimming around peacefully, will vaporises after just a few hours and they will painfully suffocate... while - for the sake of the experiment (!) - they are supposed to starve to death. Um.

Learning python. One of the most simple programming language. Or so I was told. Um.
Then again, I can use the few techniques I've already learned for ImageProcessing to automatise trimming my holiday photos. If I ever have holidays again.
(by the way, in UNIX shell programming there some really elegant rules: for example, you start a command with an if and you have to end your order with an fi. Also, once a program cowardly refused to obey. And yes, I'm quoting it word-for-word. Linux is sure crazy. And fun <3)

Oh, and I've managed that double-kick from Taekwando <3 And had my first shooting without a supporting "pillar" under my gun. Never thought that rifle was so damn heavy... I mean, I really have some muscles, I've trained with shinai for some years, I've done exercises with free weights - not regularly but still... I just can't stay still enough to take accurate aim. That's annoying! Especially since with that pillar I'm really, really good. Bother!
Well, I'll have to improve then <3

Oh, and I have to find time to sleep as well.
But not before I'll take a final look at my presentation for the next weekend. My turn is next Sunday, at 11 a.m. Yes, we're are just that hardcore in Göttingen.

And that one dear fellow from my university will convince me into an audio!WK-fanfiction. Damn her and her great ideas.

As for the shadow sides.... I'm consistently tiered. Physical and somehow emotional too. And I have that troublesome feeling of achieving nothing at all. Just struggling. Struggling and getting even more exhausted. I'm quite a patient type, but this time I want to see some results. Like. NOW.
Um...

So, in order to manage that current crazy schedule a bit better, I guess, I'll have to make my internet presence even shorter ._."
Don't forget about me, dears. Because I sure won't!
I'll be back (c)
<3

______________________________

P.S. Greeting back for kuru :3

P².S: Oh, and to explain the title of the entry: whenever the things gets too stressed for me, I tend to miss the deadline for returning the books back to the city library. This time I own them exactly 13 € for being such an idiot. Come to think of it - not my worst score.

I've got a new crush lately: a cruel and utterly beautiful one - analytical chemistry ♥ Actually, the course ended a few weeks ago, but since I'm still working on the paper with the results, I can't get rid of it. Forensic science is frustrating and fascinating at the same time, but writing the research down is quite an annoying job. Especially, since I'm working with TeX again and after a long break I lost lots of my skills x_x"
Also, I set one of my spectrograms on fire ^^" Well, no more  perfumed candle while learning anymore?
(or maybe I was just nervous about my bachelor thesis. Buridan's ass would be the best match for my soul mate. After 2 and a half years I finally find out that biophysical chemistry would be my dream comes true, and now they want me to decide about a thesis in only a few hours - I'll need at least a half of a year  to make my mind o_o")

Well, curios to see some high-tech devices I was working with?

( click~ )

Also, I've started ballroom dancing! Since I was on my own, I got a random dance-partner there... Well, he is studying French & Politics eduction for a teaching post at secondary schools. Which makes us quite a funny "couple" (side note: in a completely innocent way - he's so skinny and tiny, I'm feeling like some plump orc while dancing with him XD But at least I can learn how to lead ... my future dancing partner sure wouldn't mind? <3)
One evening we were coming back from the dancing lesson, passing "some strange guys with stocks" and I had to switch to the Mr. know-it-all and was talking about shinai and kendo for the rest of the evening. He fled as soon as he could... Whatever. I just noticed, how I miss kendo ._." But I promised myself to go fencing this semester, which was not the best decision I made. Not only I run into my old relationship (which isn't that bad) but  the course is also quite boring (which is bad!). Well, may be it'll getting better in a few weeks (or months) but right now it's not much of a challenge to prick a fencing glove with a floret . Even when the glove is sliding down the wall - after a half of an hour even a monkey will get it.

Also, I desperately need money. Since this year there won't be any new TA positions at the university, (yes, we have to pay over 700 € each semester for studying and they still have nerves to say there have no money! >_<") I had to find another part-time job. So I've got a new student that I'm tutoring after university and one-to-one tutoring is way more stressful that teaching in a class. But since the payment is better, I guess, it's okay. (Just the same as everywhere: working for the industry was always more profitable than for the sake of science XD)

I still had a few evenings left, reserved for culture and social contacts. After sitting at home for days and just learning or starring an the celling all day long (which is sometimes the same) it was just great wandering through the Christmas market or visiting the theatre. 
The Physicists. The first of Dürrenmatt's play I ever read (and it was love at the first sight act), unfortunately, they had to cut a lot (it was only a 2-hours play ._.) and one of the nurses (Monica - the one who was still alive at the beginning XD) still managed to get undressed <.<" (why? WHY? Why does someone have to strip for a play to get acknowledged?) but it was still the good old angry Dürrenmatt >D (for the German Text and Photos from the play go here)
The other play I absolutely recommend is "Party Game" (here more but still not famous enough for a wikepedia article, I guess ) - especially the end, when everything turns upside down and the real intentions are revealed. At that point I was already pleased with the moral of the story, but than - just few minutes before the end - the plot turned one more time and there was the next level of the intrigue. (also, it was performed in an old operation hall which was an amazing idea - despite sitting on the both sides from the scene you never had the impression of starring at someone's ass instead of their faces. Great interpretation!)
The concept of the play reminds me of "Inception" (yeah, I'm quite slow on the uptake~) - but the idea of dream in a dream in a dream is just so after my fancy! *_*;; (Are there any Weiß Kreuz crossover with Inception? Not only it would explain what Farfarello and Berger was doing in Crawfords mind, but wouldn't Schuldig make just a perfect Forger? >3 And Nagi would be awesome as an Architect. Craword - the Pointman? And Farfarello... well ... the ultimate totem? XD)

Oh, and while speaking about awesomeness: Not only I forgot to mention a bunch of great authors from the summer 120_minuten-project (Team Van Gogh - we were awesome! <3) but I also nearly missed the new X-Mas time challenges. (No, I sure don't have any free time for writing.. but I spend way too much hours sleeping lately. If I rearrange the priorities there sure will be a few hours left..)

Banner-time! I couldn't decide so there will be 3 Van Gogh's! XD


(by awesome nyx_chan)


(by talented lumcheng)

 
(by great der_jemand)


PS: The best receipt against the winter depressions: eating eucalyptus-honey & reading Kurt Vonnengut. (hui, he was studying chemistry too? And did his magistracy in anthropology? Sure why not? *_*;)

Today is the last day of my labs in physical chemistry *dead* Unfortunately it doesn't mean I have a lot of free time on my hands now, I still have to write tree protocols till 31.03 and pass two exams. This you call a semester break for a scientific student x__x"

Nevertheless I sure will miss the labs for the last tree weeks...

( picspam - uni )

Ok, perhaps I won't miss it after all :3